Unbroken

While rambling around a certain website (it rhymes with BlueCube) that has all kinds of videos, I came across an old video of a song that I used to listen to after I got dumped by a girl who had the poor taste to want to go out with Todd instead of me, who then cheated on her and made her know exactly how I felt, but she was too ashamed to come crawling back to me begging me to take her back. Not that I remember it in vivid detail or anything. Anyway, the song was “Unbreak My Heart” by Toni Braxton. Check it out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2Rch6WvPJE.

The lyrics are a bit needy, but still it is a passionate song. It made me think about heartache, heart break and heartburn. Not in that order since the Tabasco I put on my eggs this morning was being a little demanding of my attention. Through the years I have had my heart broken a few times and, sadly, have broken a few myself. In all those broken hearts, I can’t remember wanting the one who broke my heart to come back and unbreak it. Plato wrote: “Any man may easily do harm, but not every man can do good to another.” Perhaps I am just not as forgiving as I need to be. Perhaps I just don’t like giving someone a second chance to hurt me. Perhaps I’m just stupid to not try again. Maybe I’m a little bit of all three; but aren’t we all like that to various degrees. I can see Plato’s point. Trust in the goodness of people in matters of romance can be a dangerous game.

I wish I could tell you that I have learned not to put my heart out there and risk dancing in the fire of romance. But as Garth Brooks once said, “I can't abide standing outside the fire.” But I know the risks. I know that my heart will get broken. But I also know that the benefits far outweigh the risks.

Writing my thoughts and philosophies out has helped me see areas where I need to grow and change. If you have been reading these random thoughts you have a good insight into my mind, but this one is a little less positive than some of the others. This is one where I do not feel the need to change. Unbreak my heart is not something that I like to rely on others to do. Protecting my heart is one thing I have learned to do well. Another thing I have learned is to let the pain go when my heart is broken. I do not know how many of my broken hearts happened out of intention, accident or just indifference. It doesn’t really matter. All that matters is that I got over it without relying on someone else to fill that gap and will every time it happens.

I don’t really have any hard feelings about that girl and Todd. I still kind of enjoy the fact that she lost, too; but that is my own selfish, petty, vengeful side rearing its ugly head and laughing its butt off. That’s probably something to explore another day.