The Color of Anger

Isn’t interesting when you change your point of view? When you are happy the world seems to look yellow and shinier. When you are sad the world seems blue and dull. With pain there are shades of green that blurs. But it is the shades of red with anger that intrigues me most. I have heard it said that when one reaches a certain level of rage the edges fade and the crimson glow fills the vision. Have you ever reached that level of madness?

There have been a few times when I have found myself in that state. Getting mad is not a challenge. The real difficulty is controlling that anger. Using that anger instead of letting it use you is an intriguing effort. Working out to channel that that anger is a classic method of coping. I’m told that various forms of art are great forms of anger exercise. There are many paintings that really show either anger, rage, pain or constipation. Or perhaps anger and rage over the pain of constipation.

There is a new method of dealing with anger I would like to try. Laughing it off! By laughing I’m not referring to the maniacal laugh of a mad man. That whole muhahaha thing of the supervillian does not work either. It is time for us to try a joyful laugh and see if it works out the anger.

Hahahahahahahahaha. Hmmmmm. Nope. Still mad. Oh well. It was worth a try.

Know Thyself

So often we are influenced by the opinions of others. Watching the news we can hear the same story from two different perspectives and come out thinking two different things about the same topic. We can see a billboard advertising for beer that will make you more popular than the biggest Hollywood celebrity within a few miles of another that is telling you there is help for alcoholism. While buying milk, bread, and a few other odds and ends we can read the headlines at the checkout that tell all kinds of juicy gossip and the latest info about the aliens’ meeting in the Whitehouse. What do we believe anymore?

Even closer to home we may hear all kinds of things from all kinds of people. Some people may want something from you and be buttering you up and inflating your ego so that your head will not fit through the door. Others may want to knock you down a notch or two because of jealousy or spite. Some people are well meaning. Others are just plain mean. Everyone looks at you through the lens of their presuppositions that will distort the reality of their picture of you. Some see what they want to see while others see only what you want them to see. It is not that different from what you see in the news or advertising. It is a matter of perspective.

The most important thing is to know yourself. The temple of Apollo at Delphi had that inscription on the forecourt for those seeking knowledge. It has been attributed to Heraclitus, Socrates, Pythagoras, and the Oracle. It has been found in ancient tomes, Greek mystics, Roman poets, medieval monks, and modern movies. It is intertwined in our culture and counter-culture. It is a common denominator from the Greatest Generation to the 9/11 Generation. This is a message that transcends generations to reach to the core of what and who we are.

How well do you know yourself? To paraphrase former President Bill Clinton, are you as good as your strongest supporters believe? Are you as bad as your harshest critics claim? The answer to both is probably “no”. It doesn’t matter how good or bad others think you are. Whether hero or villain, it is a matter of their perspective and presuppositions that they see. Rare are the individuals who can see past the perspective to the reality within. There are very few people who know you like you know yourself.

Check your reality. Can you look in the mirror before going to bed at night and be pleased with your actions that day? When you wake up, do you dread the consequences of the last night? Knowing that God forgives, can you also forgive yourself?

Do you know yourself?

Unbroken

While rambling around a certain website (it rhymes with BlueCube) that has all kinds of videos, I came across an old video of a song that I used to listen to after I got dumped by a girl who had the poor taste to want to go out with Todd instead of me, who then cheated on her and made her know exactly how I felt, but she was too ashamed to come crawling back to me begging me to take her back. Not that I remember it in vivid detail or anything. Anyway, the song was “Unbreak My Heart” by Toni Braxton. Check it out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2Rch6WvPJE.

The lyrics are a bit needy, but still it is a passionate song. It made me think about heartache, heart break and heartburn. Not in that order since the Tabasco I put on my eggs this morning was being a little demanding of my attention. Through the years I have had my heart broken a few times and, sadly, have broken a few myself. In all those broken hearts, I can’t remember wanting the one who broke my heart to come back and unbreak it. Plato wrote: “Any man may easily do harm, but not every man can do good to another.” Perhaps I am just not as forgiving as I need to be. Perhaps I just don’t like giving someone a second chance to hurt me. Perhaps I’m just stupid to not try again. Maybe I’m a little bit of all three; but aren’t we all like that to various degrees. I can see Plato’s point. Trust in the goodness of people in matters of romance can be a dangerous game.

I wish I could tell you that I have learned not to put my heart out there and risk dancing in the fire of romance. But as Garth Brooks once said, “I can't abide standing outside the fire.” But I know the risks. I know that my heart will get broken. But I also know that the benefits far outweigh the risks.

Writing my thoughts and philosophies out has helped me see areas where I need to grow and change. If you have been reading these random thoughts you have a good insight into my mind, but this one is a little less positive than some of the others. This is one where I do not feel the need to change. Unbreak my heart is not something that I like to rely on others to do. Protecting my heart is one thing I have learned to do well. Another thing I have learned is to let the pain go when my heart is broken. I do not know how many of my broken hearts happened out of intention, accident or just indifference. It doesn’t really matter. All that matters is that I got over it without relying on someone else to fill that gap and will every time it happens.

I don’t really have any hard feelings about that girl and Todd. I still kind of enjoy the fact that she lost, too; but that is my own selfish, petty, vengeful side rearing its ugly head and laughing its butt off. That’s probably something to explore another day.

Joy

The concept of joy is rather elusive to so many. Have you ever met someone who seems to have that almost strange peace in the most extreme situations that makes you think they are either a complete fool or a total sociopath? For many years I envied them their ignorance or mental illness. Then one day I came across a woman who lost her husband. She was smiling in the midst of tears. As I was looking up the number for the padded ambulance service, she said something to me that I will never forget. “I still have my joy even in my sadness.”

That flew right in the face of logic. How can you be joyful and sad at the same time? Isn’t joy just another word for happy? You can be happy yet not joyful and sad while filled with joy. Who knew? Joy goes to a new level beyond simple happy, sad, depressed or mad. Joy is comes from knowing something that goes beyond yourself. For some it is hope for better times that gives them their joy. Others look to some kind of inner peace to transcend the troubling times. For me it is a matter of faith in God. Knowing that there is someone much more powerful and wiser than I am in control of… well… everything, gives me that joyful peace that helps me get through the day.

Whatever the source – and mine is the best by the way – joy is something that we need in these challenging times. Find your joy! That is something that has kept me together through the worst of times and has helped me to soar to greater heights during the best of times.

Are you having fun?

Who you are is best shown by who you chose as friends. Meeting new people is like enjoying a great meal. It is the familiar taste of the food that draws us in but it is the surprises that keep us coming back for more. In the same way, discovering what we have in common and then uncovering our differences is what adds familiarity and spice to the relationship. When we have enough things in common to have something to talk about and enough differences to learn something new it makes the chance to meet something special. Great chemistry and great conversation lead to great relationships.

Laughing with one another at the strangest things makes a simple day into a memory that you will always have. When humor is shared and the smile crosses the face it lights up a room like nothing else. Telling the joke that makes someone else roll their eyes and moan in pain is just as much fun as telling the joke that makes them laugh until their sides hurt. Both are more fun than should be legal!

The simplest and most basic philosophy for my life goes: If you’re not having fun you’re doing it wrong. It applies to fun and frivolity, life and love, romance and raucousness. I just have one simple question for you: Are you having fun?

Choices

Life is a series of choices. Those choices range from the monumental to the mundane. Whether the decision is what to wear this morning or where to eat at night, we all tend to agonize over the options set before us.  We wonder about what the future holds and how current choices will influence it. At the same time we wonder why we made certain choices in the past and how they have influenced our present. We ponder the mysteries of the opposite sex with a myriad of seemingly incomprehensible choices while rejoicing in the differences that allow those choices to manifest themselves. Greater minds than ours contemplate the mysteries of the universe and fates of countless people. Fortunes are made and lost in blink of an eye due to a right or wrong choice made at the right or wrong time. In vast scheme of things, our choices are not that significant to history, the world, or even that many of the billions of people who live on our planet.

That being said, there still some are choices that affect others. We should always be concerned with the affects of our choices. We can be sensitive to the wants and needs of others or show senseless insensitivity. Our choices may not affect the world in which others live but they can affect the world of one other person. We must never underestimate the impact we can have on the few people who hold us in high esteem. Our choices can make or break someone's minute, hour, day, or even life.

There is one person who is impacted more than others by the choices we make. That person is you. You must live with the decisions that you make. Granted, others are involved; however, you are the one who must live with it. Your nature will form an integral part in your choices. Your view of your glass as half full or half empty of either lemons or lemonade will impact how you chose a course of action. Optimism or pessimism will decide how your handle your difficult situations.

As I was sitting on the front step this morning sipping a cup of coffee, I chose the kind of day I was going to have. My evening did not go as planned last night. The air conditioner was not working again! I did not sleep well or anywhere near long enough. I was awakened by an alarm clock in the form of a vacuum cleaner entering my room at what I felt was an inappropriate and insensitive time. If I believed in astrology, I'd have said the stars were aligned against me. If I believed in fate, I'd say that fate was out to get me. I believe in God. I believe that he never gives us more than we can bear without a way out of the dilemma. I CHOOSE TO HAVE A GOOD DAY. I decided that my energy would be better spent on the half full glass of lemonade that the day had given me to work with. I have chosen to make the best of my situation until God's wisdom puts me in a better place.

I have just one question for you...What kind of day, week, and life do you choose to have?